You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.

Men and women -- even man and wife are foreigners. Each has reserves that the other cannot enter into, nor understand. These have the effect of frontiers.

The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.

The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.

Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.