Only laughter can blow [a colossal humbug] to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

If books are not good company, where shall I find it?

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.