Man is kind enough when he is not excited by religion

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

As soon as a man recognizes that he has drifted into age, he gets reminiscent. He wants to talk and talk; and not about the present or the future, but about his old times. For there is where the pathos of his life lies - and the charm of it. The pathos of it is there because it was opulent with treasures that are gone, and the charm of it is in casting them up from the musty ledgers and remembering how rich and gracious they were.

I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged study, and to-day the only mathematics I know is multiplication, and the minute I get away up in that, as soon as I reach nine times seven- [He lapsed into deep thought, trying to figure nine times seven. Mr. McKelway whispered the answer to him.] I've got it now. It's eighty-four. Well, I can get that far all right with a little hesitation. After that I am uncertain, and I can't manage a statistic.