The spirit of wrath - not the words - is the sin; and the spirit of wrath is cursing. We begin to swear before we can talk.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

We often feel sad in the presence of music without words; and often more than that in the presence of music without music.

Women cannot receive even the most palpably judicious suggestion without arguing it; that is, married women.

If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and furnish him with his orders: Depart into the uttermost corners of the earth and, diligently do your appointed work. Persecute the sick child, settle upon its eyes, its face, its hands, and gnaw and pester and sting, worry and fret and madden the worn and tried mother who watches by the child and humbly prays for mercy and relief with the pathetic faith of the deceived and the unteachable.

Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.