The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print

The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

How lovely is death; and how niggardly it is doled out.

It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.