Every person is a book, each year a chapter.

None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.

Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.

An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.

Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.

Every time I reform in one direction I go overboard in another.

I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.