Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean. I know this by my own experience, & to this day I cherish an unappeased bitterness against the unfaithful guardians of my young life, who not only permitted but compelled me to read an unexpurgated Bible through before I was 15 years old. None can do that and ever draw a clean sweet breath again on this side of the grave.

I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.