Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Man is the only religious animal. In the Holy task of smoothing his brother's path to the happiness of heaven, he has turned the globe into a graveyard.

Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.

My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.