The easy part of being an artist is figuring out the message that everyone else is ready to hear. The hard part is waiting for the proper lull to make the announcement.

I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.

In literature imitations do not imitate.