My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.

One of my theories is that the hearts of men are about alike, no matter what their skin color.

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.

I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business.

Which is him?" The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?