If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

It's easy to endure adversity -- if it happens to someone else.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.

When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.