Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.

Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.

Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them.

Ah, if he could only die temporarily!

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment

The Mississippi River towns are comely, clean, well built, and pleasing to the eye, and cheering to the spirit. The Mississippi Valley is as reposeful as a dreamland, nothing worldly about it . . . nothing to hang a fret or a worry upon.