I have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.

Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

I do not know what we should do without the pulpit. We could better spare the sun-the moon, anyway.

There's plenty of boys that will come hankering and gruvvelling around when you've got an apple, and beg the core off you; but when they're got one, and you beg for the core, and remind them how you give them a core one time, they take a mouth at you, and say thank you 'most to death, but there ain't a-going to be no core.