Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.

We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.

While we may not consider the way we talk to be 'violent,' our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or for ourselves.

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

In empathy, you don't speak at all. You speak with the eyes. You speak with your body. If you say any words at all, it's because you are not sure you are with the person. So you may say some words. But the words are not empathy. Empathy is when the other person feels the connection with what's alive in you.

Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.

At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.