... as we age we have not only to readdress earlier developmental crises but also somehow to find the way to three affirmations that may seem to conflict. ... We have to affirm our own life. We have to affirm our own death. And we have to affirm love, both given and received.

The caretaking has to be done. "Somebody's got to be the mommy." Individually, we underestimate this need, and as a society we make inadequate provision for it. Women take up the slack, making the need invisible as we step in to fill it.

Improvisation and new learning are not private processes; they are shared with others at every age. We are called to join in a dance whose steps must be learned along the way, so it is important to attend and respond. Even in uncertainty, we are responsible for our steps.

Solutions to problems often depend upon how they're defined.

Every loss recapitulates earlier losses, but every affirmation of identity echoes earlier moments of clarity.

When parents die, all of the partings of the past are reevoked with the realization that this time they will not return.

In many ways, constancy is an illusion.