I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.

The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not "I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy" nuts or PMS nuts. "I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend" nuts.

It never failed—I'd buy a new journal, write like a madwoman for ten pages, then lose total interest in the process. Three months later, I'd start the whole process all over again. I think I just liked buying new notebooks.

Yeah, well, it's been a super fun week. And by 'super fun' I mean 'horrible and endless'.

Why is it suddenly uncool to spell? That's all I want to know.

I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.

We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians.