Zombieland reference," Jon said, nodding. "How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference!" I looked at laura. "I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago." "Uh...Betsy..." "Don't say it." You know how you don't know how stupid something is until you hear yourself say it? That happened to me a lot.

I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you.

We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians.

I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. "My God! You people! You're - you're so stupid you're making my eyeballs throb. They're throbbing, dammit!

... friends are such a mixed blessing.

I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.

You'll pay," she said stonily. "You won't be like this by this time tomorrow." "Bored and pissed off? God, I hope not.