Take your hands off her, Sinclair told the guy behind me, Or they'll write books about what I'll do to you.

It's nice to see you again, Laura." "Thank you, Mrs. T-" "No, no, no. Please, my name is-" "Mud," I suggested. "Mud Barfbag Taylor. Call her Asshat for short." ~Laura, Antonia, Betsy

I trudged around on the muddy river bottom for half an hour, patiently waiting to drown, before giving up and slogging my way back to shore.

Yeah, well, it's been a super fun week. And by 'super fun' I mean 'horrible and endless'.

Wow, girlfriend, you're incompatible with life! And here I thought I was just incompatible with pink.

... friends are such a mixed blessing.

Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?