I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.

If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.

Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than parents have.

The really great thing about having two TV shows going on at the same time is that I can go to one and say that I have to go and visit the other and then I can just go home and they don't know.