Iโm a screwed-up person who no longer knows how to communicate with the people I love. But I meant everything I told you in my letter. If I were your Nikki, I would have come back to you on Christmas Day, but Iโm not Nikki. I know. And Iโm sorry.
Matthew QuickI feel like Iโm brokenโlike I donโt fit together anymore. Like thereโs no more room for me in the world or something. Like Iโve overstayed my welcome here on Earth, and everyoneโs trying to give me hints about that constantly. Like I should just check out.
Matthew QuickI want to believe that happiness might at least be possible later on in life for people prone to sadness.
Matthew QuickI think it's strange to live in a house with someone you cannot talk to-especially when that someone is your father-and the thought makes me a little sad.
Matthew QuickI can always look up at the cosmos and marvel, no matter what happens. And when I look up at it, I feel as though my problems are small. I don't know why, but it always makes me feel better.
Matthew QuickThat's basically the mantra of Herr Silverman's teaching - think for yourself and do what's right for you, but let others do the same.
Matthew QuickYou want to be a good person, don't you, Pat?' I nod. I cry. I do want to be a good person, I really do. 'I'm going to up your meds,' Dr. Patel tells me. 'You might feel a little sluggish, but it should help to curb your violent outbursts. You need to know it's your actions that will make you a good person, not desire.
Matthew QuickLet me tell ya. You gotta pay attention to signs. When life reaches out with a moment like this it's a sin if you don't reach back... I'm telling you.
Matthew QuickI...have a woman in my arms who has suffered greatly and desperately needs to believe once again that she is beautiful.
Matthew QuickHe never once tells me what Tiffany thinks or what is going on in her heart: the awful feelings, the conflicting impulses, the needs, the desperation, everything that makes her different from Ronnie and Veronica, who have each other and their daughter, Emily, and a good income and a house and everything else that keeps people from calling them "odd.
Matthew QuickSoon I am seeing the blue-and-yellow flags that line the campus streets, and it makes me feel happy and sad at the same time to be back at La Salle--almost like looking at old pictures of people who have either died or with whom you have lost contact.
Matthew QuickThere's a lot for you to live for. Good things are definitely in your future, Leonard. I'm sure of it. You have no idea how many interesting people you'll meet after high school's over. Your life partner, your best friend, the most wonderful person you'll ever know is sitting in some high school right now waiting to graduate and walk into your life - maybe even feeling all the same things you are, maybe even wondering about you, hoping that you're strong enough to make it to the future where you'll meet.
Matthew QuickIt hurts to look at the clouds, but it also helps, like most things that cause pain. So I need to run, and as my lungs burn and my back rebels with that stabbing knife feeling and my legs muscles harden and the half inch of loose skin around my waist jiggles, I feel as though my penance for the day is being done and that maybe God will be pleased enough to lend me some help, which I think is why He has been showing me interesting clouds for the past week.
Matthew QuickTiffany and I are great friends, and I appreciate all that she is doing for me now. But she is not you. I still love you, Nikki. And you canโt control or alter true love.
Matthew QuickLooking into another person's eyes for an extended period of time proved to be a powerful thing. And if you don't believe me, try it yourself.
Matthew Quick...but Cliff keeps pushing for the truth like therapists do, because they all have some sort of psychic ability that allows them to see through your lies, and therefore they know you will eventually tire of the talking game and will offer up the truth.
Matthew QuickLife is hard, and children have to be told how hard life can beโฆSo they will be sympathetic to others. So they will understand that some people have it harder than they do and that a trip through this world can be a wildly different experience, depending on what chemicals are raging through oneโs mind.
Matthew QuickIn my arms is a woman who has given me a Skywatcher's Cloud Chart, a woman who knows all my secrets, a woman who knows just how messed up my mind is, how many pills I'm on, and yet she allows me to hold her anyway. There's something honest about all this, and I cannot imagine any other woman lying in the middle of a frozen soccer field with me - in the middle of a snowstorm even - impossibly hoping to see a single cloud break free of a nimbostratus.
Matthew Quick