Life is always going to be a series of ouch-making moments, and the question was, was I going to go all fetal position, or was I going to woman up? I went into fetal position on the bed to think about this. Fetal position turned out to be very comfortable.

Go see old virgins! Now ask a strange boy out, you shy, Retarded thing!

because talent alone doesn't make an artist

I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.

Sometimes it is worth any amount of suffering just to prevent giving your parents the opportunity to be right.

Before I take you into the beating heart of the story, let’s get one thing out of the way. I know from experience that when it comes up later, it will distract you so much that you won’t be able to concentrate on anything else I will tell you. My name is Jubilee Dougal. Take a moment and let it sink in.

Lecturing Brooks was as useful as lecturing a cat.