Golf: The most ... perfect expression of National Stupidity.

A quiet city is a contradiction in terms. It is a thing uncanny, spectral.

Good sense about trivialities is better than nonsense about things that matter.

Sometimes I feel that I am a natural born genius in a field of human endeavor that hasn't been invented yet

Not that I had any special reason for hating school. Strange as it may seem to my readers, I was not unpopular there. I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable.

You will find that the woman who is really kind to dogs is always one who has failed to inspire sympathy in men.

Reverence is a good thing, and part of its value is that the more we revere a man, the more sharply are we struck by anything in him (and there is always much) that is incongruous with his greatness.