Golf: The most ... perfect expression of National Stupidity.

Only the insane take themselves seriously.

All fantasy should have a solid base in reality.

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind-legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.

Not that I had any special reason for hating school. Strange as it may seem to my readers, I was not unpopular there. I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable.

Undergraduates owe their happiness chiefly to the consciousness that they are no longer at school. The nonsense which was knocked out of them at school is all put gently back at Oxford or Cambridge.