To say that a man is vain means merely that he is pleased with the effect he produces on other people.

Golf: The most ... perfect expression of National Stupidity.

To give an accurate and exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine.

Sometimes I feel that I am a natural born genius in a field of human endeavor that hasn't been invented yet

I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable.

I believe the twenty-four hour day has come to stay.

"After all," as a pretty girl once said to me, "women are a sex by themselves, so to speak."