A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.

Robert Benchley has a style that is weak and lies down frequently to rest.

He [P.G.Wodehouse] is I believe, the only man living who speaks with equal fluency the American and English languages.

The defining function of the artist is to cherish consciousness.

If one were loyal to one's nation only because it was good and true ... one would not be loyal to any nation but to truth and goodness. The idea of patriotism would have no place either in our dictionaries or our lives.

A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.