A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.

A liberal mind is a mind that is able to imagine itself believing anything.

Patriotism is one of the unalterable facts of man's nature. It is a virtue if you like it, and a vice if you don't like it.

Living well is the best revenge.If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together.

There is truth in the high opinion that in so far as a man conforms, he ceases to exist.