If one were loyal to one's nation only because it was good and true ... one would not be loyal to any nation but to truth and goodness. The idea of patriotism would have no place either in our dictionaries or our lives.

A liberal mind is a mind that is able to imagine itself believing anything.

People who demand neutrality in any situation are usually not neutral but in favor of the status quo.

A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.

I don't know why it is we are in such a hurry to get up when we fall down. You might think we would lie there and rest for a while.

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.

A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke