All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.

My favorite birthday game is Pin the Cleanup on the guests.

The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.

To look at possibility is to be free.

Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita

Love is like a roller coaster. When it's good, you don't want to stop and when it's not... you want to throw up.

All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.