There's a lot of things that I've done to stick into the box set. You never have it this good. I think people should bargain. They shouldn't just buy the set, it's a little expensive [anyway]. But they should say - I'll give them dialogue, I'm a good writer.

You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself.

The Twelve Chairs is about the same thing. It's all about money or love. We know we need money, we know we have to get money, we know we have to hurt others to get money. But we don't know until maybe it's a little too late in life that love is the most important thing. Love, friendship, affection, bonhomie, whatever. Those are the only things that really count: to love and be loved.

It would be hypocritical of me to take issue with anything in questionable taste, seeing that I invented bad taste in films.

Cat angels are the reason there are no mice angels.

An egg cream can do anything. An egg cream to a Brooklyn Jew is like water to an Arab. A Jew will kill for an egg cream. It's the Jewish malmsey.

Some critics are emotionally desiccated, personally about as attractive as a year-old peach in a single girl's refrigerator.