Nothing is free. You got to pay to be in society. First you start with homework.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

In every spoof I make real love to the things I am spoofing.

Usually when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

He who hesitates is poor.

The more serious the situation, the funnier the comedy can be. The greatest comedy plays against the greatest tragedy. Comedy is a red rubber ball and if you throw it against a soft, funny wall, it will not come back. But if you throw it against the hard wall of ultimate reality, it will bounce back and be very lively. Very, very few people understand this.