Why should I waste my good time making a straight dramatic film? The people who can't make you laugh can do that.

The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.

The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character.

Look, I had to take chances or it wasn't fun being funny.

Cat angels are the reason there are no mice angels.

These men both publicly and privately have done so much for me. Without Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick I would be living in a little motel just around the corner here, trying to make ends meet.

I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn.