Any man's greatness is a tribute to the nobility of all mankind, so when we celebrate the genius of [Leo] Tolstoy, we say, "Look! One of our boys made it! Look what we're capable of!"

American sex is generally straight. It happens at 11 o'clock Saturday night. In the rural areas, it happens at nine and it happens pretty fast. Got to get up the next morning, especially if there're kids. Can't make noise, either, wake the kids.

I had low blood sugar, a chemical imbalance, plus the normal nervous breakdown everyone goes through from adolescence to adulthood.

Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together.

I'm married to a beautiful and talented woman who can lift your spirits just by looking at you.

You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself.

I was out in the combat engineers. We would throw up bridges in advance of the infantry but mainly we would just throw up.