I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

I'm still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

I wanted to entertain so badly that I kept at it until I was good. I just browbeat my way into show business.

Immortality is a by-product of good work. Masterpieces are not for artists, they're for critics. Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together. My message to the world is 'Let's swing, sing, shout, make noise! Let's not mimic death before our time comes! Let's be wet and noisy!'

I realised that all one really had to do was just observe. Observe and slightly exaggerate, and you had comedy. Instead of creating a mythical premise for a stupid joke, I found playing off truth got the best result.

Sir, I have seen your film and it is vulgar! Madame, my film rises below vulgarity.