I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
Sir, I have seen your film and it is vulgar! Madame, my film rises below vulgarity.
If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
I make people laugh for a living. I believe I can say objectively that what I do I do as well as anybody. Just say I'm one of the best broken field runners that ever lived. For 35 years I was a cult hero, an underground funny.
Immortality is a by-product of good work.
My brothers went to work at 12 and put themselves through school and brought the family out of ruin into food and clothing.