Directing is a terrible, anxious process. It's all collaboration, and if you have a dream, it's diluted very quickly by the slightest ineptness in any of your collaborators. They're supposed to help you, but too often they help you into your grave.

The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.

Being brave is being scared and worried and still doing it [what you do]. Because if you're just a wacko, a mashugana, a crazy guy, then you're not brave, your nuts!

I was a soldier in WWII. The last couple of months of the war I was actually in combat.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Tragedy is what happens to me; comedy is what happens to you.

Some critics are emotionally desiccated, personally about as attractive as a year-old peach in a single girl's refrigerator.