It's good to be the king.

Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.

I was a soldier in WWII. The last couple of months of the war I was actually in combat.

Immortality is a by-product of good work. Masterpieces are not for artists, they're for critics. Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together. My message to the world is 'Let's swing, sing, shout, make noise! Let's not mimic death before our time comes! Let's be wet and noisy!'

When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I've always felt okay in Berlin.

You're young forever when you write. Alfred Hitchcock directed until the day he died. As long as you don't have any dementia or Alzheimer's, if you have your All-Bran every day and clear yourself out, I think your brains are gonna be all right.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.