A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan.

We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.

Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together.

My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible. The job is to make people laugh. I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn.

I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.

Tolstoy was the most gifted writer who ever lived. It's like he stuck a pen in his heart and it didn't even go through his mind on its way to the page.

I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.