I've always loved songwriting, and I vowed to be a songwriter like Cole Porter when I was only 9 years old.

Sir, I have seen your film and it is vulgar! Madame, my film rises below vulgarity.

I love [Nikolai] Gogol's great eye for idiot behavior. Gogol said that life is so tragic, so stupendously sad that we'd better laugh a lot and enjoy ourselves. You either get a sense of humor going or you go under.

Writing is simply one thought after another dying upon the one before.

Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy.

I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.

Why should I waste my good time making a straight dramatic film? The people who can't make you laugh can do that.