Everything edible is fried in Texas! Or it is buried in the ground to cook before it is eaten. ... Texas food should be forbidden! 'The steaks at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas!' And they are always afloat in grease. Next morning you are served a smaller steak, which serves as a platform for two fried eggs ... all of this afloat in the same grease! 'Chicken, you say? You bet! Comin' up!' Same grease! They are right. Comin' up! For hours afterwards. I couldn't believe the crust of an apple pie! Same grease!

If I have to climb to heaven on a ladder, I shall decline the invitation.

There are zillions of people who say that alcoholism is a disease, but not many of them believe it

Most people call me Mercy. I like it

With two leftover husbands to account for, my wicked soul has just about shriveled and died

The great people I've met always have time for the niceties.

I've always had bronchitis. I've been administered the Sacrament of Death three times for it