People will always despise you if you end up doing less stupid BS than they choose to suffer.

Being consistent is way less interesting than being yourself. And if you're not interesting? Good luck with your Big Consistency Project.

By my reckoning, I only need about 200 more takeout coffee cups to complete my bitterly ironic mosaic of Al Gore.

When you die, no one's going to remember what iPhone you had.

Distractions have never prevented a Writing Writer Who Writes from writing; distractions are an excuse proffered by Non-Writing Non-Writers Who are Not-Writing for why they are not writing.

All self-help is Buddhism with a service mark

Priorities Are Like Arms; If You Think You Have More Than A Couple, You’re Either Lying Or Crazy.