A father's disappointment can be a very powerful tool.

The fact is, my parents loved me, and I wanted to be worthy of their love. I wanted to make them proud.

I'd gone to Manhattan to become a model.

It struck me that what I'd heard about certain celebrities was true: they had It, whatever the hell It was. Star power isn't a myth; it is tangible and forceful.

I'd been around women who put me down, made me feel bad, or said things to fuel my insecurity.

I wasn't even 20 at the time, but it taught me something about drugs. They can take a good man, a warm, funny, loving family man, and turn him into a loser and worse.

A father's disappointment can be a very powerful tool.