My father works for Xerox and fixes those gigantic copy machines that are about 10 feet wide.

If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll be there. So don’t bother saving a spot for someone who won’t make an effort to stay.

Baseball players tend to have something like 20 good years in them and then around their mid-thirties they aren't in the same shape as the young guys in the league and kind of aren't worth as much. Then they retire before 40. And they are left floating adrift in the middle of the ocean.

The trick [in comedy] is always to figure out how real you're playing it and how real it's supposed to feel. That's a hard thing to figure out.

I worry more about something that isn't working rather than something that feels really good. You forget about the good stuff.

I just want to be really careful with decisions I make. When you make a decision about your career, it changes your life in a really big way.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own self-doubt when you're writing. It can be so easy to tell yourself, "Who am I kidding?"