You can't write a children's book that takes more than five or six minutes to read, because it will drive the parents batty. It has to be compact. Nobody thinks about the parents when they write these stupid books. I could write longer children's books, but it would actually be bad if I did.
Michael Ian BlackThe things I care about are the most pedestrian things in the world. I care about good ice cream and being a good dad and a decent husband.
Michael Ian BlackSo my reaction to hearing this corny-ass, horrible song ["With Arms Wide Open" by Creed] is violent, uncontrollable, sustained weeping.
Michael Ian BlackAs an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.
Michael Ian BlackYour harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don't ignore that critic, but don't give it more attention than it deserves.
Michael Ian Black