You can't write a children's book that takes more than five or six minutes to read, because it will drive the parents batty. It has to be compact. Nobody thinks about the parents when they write these stupid books. I could write longer children's books, but it would actually be bad if I did.
Michael Ian BlackI'm enough of an optimist and a patriot to believe that in U.S. you have a lot of opportunity and can do pretty much anything you want in some form. For me, the idea of failure is far preferable to the idea of regret.
Michael Ian BlackIt doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, "Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks."
Michael Ian BlackThe things I care about are the most pedestrian things in the world. I care about good ice cream and being a good dad and a decent husband.
Michael Ian BlackAs an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.
Michael Ian Black