Super excited about things I'm going to do; never excited about things I'm actually doing.

I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a defensive measure against encroaching depression. Until about the age of eleven or twelve, I had zero interests other than trying to steal gumballs from supermarket gumball machines.

The thing about narcissistic people is that they don't think they're being narcissistic.

I think in doing stand-up there are no rules and there's no architecture.

Things you never thought were going to turn into something end up being the most important things in your life. You have to learn to not try to control it.

Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.

If you say "I'm going to be an actor, but I'll get a teaching degree just in case," when things get hard, you'll just be a teacher and that's how you get stuck.