The thing about narcissistic people is that they don't think they're being narcissistic.

Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.

I don't chase after things, but I put forward the effort and know the rest of it is out of my hands.

As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.

You can't write a children's book that takes more than five or six minutes to read, because it will drive the parents batty. It has to be compact. Nobody thinks about the parents when they write these stupid books. I could write longer children's books, but it would actually be bad if I did.

Internet fame is like regular fame only without all the annoying 'money' and 'power.'

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.