Whatever expectations I had for myself, none of them have come to pass. I grew up thinking I was going to be an actor, which I am. But I thought I'd be a very serious sort of Shakespearean guy going from town to town having sex with various Juliets all over the country.

I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.

Internet fame is like regular fame only without all the annoying 'money' and 'power.'

Part of what's exciting to me about my career is the constant looking forward. Whenever I finish one project, I am looking to what's next.

All my friends were girls. Then my mom's strident feminism for years where men were thought of as the enemy, I just didn't know what the right way to be a man was.

It doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, "Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks."

I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, "Oh, what have I seen you in?"