I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, "Oh, what have I seen you in?"

I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.

Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don't ignore that critic, but don't give it more attention than it deserves.

You can't write a children's book that takes more than five or six minutes to read, because it will drive the parents batty. It has to be compact. Nobody thinks about the parents when they write these stupid books. I could write longer children's books, but it would actually be bad if I did.

Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.

My process is surprisingly straightforward. I find myself with little to do over a stretch of time and I say, "I should write children's books today." Then I sit down and write a children's book, and if it takes more than, realistically, three hours, I feel like I've done something wrong.

If I revise a children's book, if I'm spending three hours on the first draft, I'm probably spending 30 minutes revising it. I mean, come on! But to redo a painting? That's hard work.