I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, "Oh, what have I seen you in?"

The characters that I have on Twitter have very little resemblance to me, the person who's writing them.

Kids love to be silly, they love to laugh, so I think it was natural for my kids to like the sort of books that I write - and it's the only kinds of books I'm capable of writing.

I feel no obligation to teach my readers anything, to impart any sort of wisdom, to teach any sort of lesson, to instill any sort of morality. All I'm trying to do is make them and their parents laugh.

Hosting a show, even a talk show or a game show, there's so much business you have to conduct. There's so much guiding you have to do.

That's been my fear all along. That I'm not enough, and I still don't trust at all that I am.

I take my coffee like I take my women... strong... black... and proud.