I believe that Americans are entitled. We're entitled to have a job that makes us feel like we have some dignity in our lives, that we live a life of integrity, and that we have good family relationships and our relationships with our friends and our families and our coworkers are enriching and meaningful.

Many guys see relationships with women as a zero-sum game: If she wins, he loses. Marriage is the ultimate contest: Her job is to get him to capitulate to marriage. So many men see marriage as the "end of freedom," the end of boyhood. That's why bachelor parties are supposed to revel in that boyish irresponsibility "one last time." So many guys figure, "Why rush into something that means basically that you'll be a prisoner forever?"

I think there is another choice for women; it involves challenging Guyland and supporting each other.

It's like what you might call Goldilocks' dilemma in the old fairy tale. Young men see women as "less than" or "better than," but never their equals. And studies indicate that equality is the best foundation for a healthy relationship.

Young men are eager to "hook up" with women. And many say they have very good female friends. But some of the emotions circulating among guys make it difficult to form and sustain healthy relationships.

Playing along with Guyland may be the only way an individual woman might believe she has a chance at a social life or a relationship. Sometimes it gets pretty crazy, like a sorority requiring that all the pledges sleep with the members of the "brother" fraternity.

The pull of Guyland reminds us that women cannot accomplish this transformation alone. In the book's final chapter I argue that just as men need to stand up, do the right thing and break the silence that perpetuates Guyland, so, too, do women need to support each other in resisting its pull.