Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke completely at someone else's expense. Even though I think he does it better than anyone else, I don't love... Well, it's different with Sacha Baron Cohen, but that whole thing where you're "punking" people? I don't like that. I don't like doing it, and I don't particularly find it funny when the joke is on a person who doesn't know they're being set up.

That's the thing that most people don't realize. In real life, comedians aren't funny. They save it. They save it up.

I think gay people deserve all the same rights as everybody else, it's just that marriage is specifically for a man and a woman.

I feel like marriage is a sacred institution that should only be between a man and a woman. If a gay couple wants to be married, why can't they just be satisfied with a civil union? Why do they have to get "married"?

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world. They have no concept of their behavior or how it might be affecting other people. So comedically, it's a very fun type of character to play. They are bulls in a china shop, twenty-four seven.

I know more about sports than I know about any other subject, unfortunately. I'm embarrassed to admit that.