Sometimes I think thereโs someone up there just sitting around thinking of ways to make me look like a complete moron. Seriously, I bet thereโs an angelโor, more likely, a demonโassigned just to me. And every day it gets up and asks itself what it can do to ruin my life. Well, today it got an A plus.
Michael Thomas FordAnd itโs not like Iโve never jacked off. Iโm fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he doesnโt is lying. That would be like having the coolest video game ever and never playing it. No oneโs that stupid.
Michael Thomas FordAnyone can be crazy. That's usually just because there's something screwed up in your wiring, you know? But suicide is a whole different thing. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to want to just wipe yourself out?
Michael Thomas FordIf you ever manage to become perfect, you have to die instantly before you ruin things for everyone else.
Michael Thomas FordI believe that Godโif he exists at allโis what we want him to be. The true God is unknowable, and so we dress him up in costumes that make him visible to us. Then we come up with a lot of very silly rules that we attribute to him and tell everyone if they don't follow those rules, they can't be part of the gang.
Michael Thomas Ford