I swear, sometimes it feels like there's this monkey in my head who runs around turning the dials and changing channels on me. One minute I'm sitting around eating chocolate chip cookies and then all of a sudden I'm thinking about bears.

It will go away... The stuff in your head. Little by little.

I'm tired of people thinking they're doing me favours.

That sounds weird: "kill yourself." It makes it sound like you tried to murder someone, only that someone is you.

Anyone can be crazy. That's usually just because there's something screwed up in your wiring, you know? But suicide is a whole different thing. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to want to just wipe yourself out?

So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls.

Once you realise there's nothing to be afraid of when you die, there's nothing else to worry about.